What Not to Say to a Woman During Pregnancy

For some women, pregnancy is the most wonderful and magical time of their lives. For others it is a very real and scary struggle through those nine months. Many people want to talk about the pregnancy but far too many people ask things that should never be asked of a woman who is pregnant. Here are a few things to avoid asking most women during those emotional nine months:

Was the pregnancy planned?

Does it really matter that much if it was not planned? Are only pregnancies where husband and wife time everything and specifically had sex on that day to try and conceive now considered good pregnancies. Are those wonderful surprise blessings of pregnancy not good enough? It doesn’t matter. If a mom to be is telling you she is pregnant then she wants you to know and be happy for her

Are you sure you are not carrying twins or triplets?

Ouch, you might as well have jut told her that she looks like a blimp or a beached whale. Some people gain a lot of weight when they are pregnant and some people do not. Who are you to judge them and how much weight they have put on? That issue is between them and their doctor an no one else.

You are going to breastfeed your baby right?

In essence people who ask this are in away asking if you are gong to feed your baby. Of course you are, but breastfeeding is not always possible. Yes it is the best for the baby 99% of the time but far more often than people realize there are reasons why breastfeeding just does not work. This makes someone no less of a mother and no less caring, so stop acting like it does.

Will you go back to work after you have the baby?

Oh, a loaded questions. Moms to be hate this one because it a damned if you do damned if you don’t type of question. If they say yes they will likely be judged as being not as loving and caring as a stay at home mom. If they say no then the fear is they will be judged as being lazy and unprofessional for giving up their career to raise their child. Don’t put them in this situation and avoid this question in the first place!

Finally you’re pregnant, what took you so long?

While pregnancy is a natural thing it is not always easy for couples. Some couple struggle through real issues in order to get pregnant. Some women prefer to wait until they get established with a career, settled with their partner, or are more mature. No one else can or should judge a women for the timing of when she gets pregnant.

Are you sure you are allowed to eat/drink that?

The food and drink police are some of the most annoying people pregnant women deal with on a regular basis. Unless they are drinking alcohol, smoking, or doing drugs, leave them alone. Their doctor have already gone over the do not eat and drink list and have talked about the foods to be mindful of. One tuna fish sandwich a month will not OD them on mercury and one cup of coffee a day is usually just fine. So leave the food policing to them and their doctor and their significant other.

When will you have another one?

This final question is one of the most ridiculous of them all to ask someone who is pregnant. They have not even gotten through one pregnancy and you are asking them about another one already? No wonder most moms just respond to this question with a soft laugh or a chuckle or a surprised look.

 

 

The following was a post by Sarah Jo Lorenz-Coryell

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